I am a professional musician, I have been classically educated and earned a great deal of credentials to prove my hard work
has been achieved with success. I've played in numerous shows, numerous bands, all kinds of music, seen audiences in the 5000 people
range, and most of them were there to see my bands, I've been low profile, only known as a maniac who plays a unique instrument and
instrumental style. I'd been known to mock amateurs when their inflated egos had gotten the better of them and they decide to treat
me poorly. I'd been kicked out of bands for proving people wrong when it came to music history, music theory, and various sources
of knowledge that few know about. I speak multiple languages, I'd read hundreds of books, studied many styles of music, played and
recorded with professionals and amateurs alike, made a lot of fun noise, made some very tasteful art, made some sounds that made people
want to dance or hit their head on a wall. I've done numerous kinds of music by myself, and done tons of music videos, some of which
are amateur looking to professionals, but really they're just recordings i did by myself, each instrument an improvisation in its composition.
I have a lockjaw memory, I memorize material rather easily.
Now why am I out of work? I'm out in the middle of bumf*$k fairview oregon, the most culture-less part of northwestern Oregon, very few
places out here to play music, and unfortunately, I'm bus bound, so since the crappy bus schedule out here limits my nightlife, I'd not played as many gigs.
Now I miss working, and if I had a friend who was dedicated enough to pick my fuzzy ass up on the way to practice, then he'd have himself
an amazing person in his/her band. Out of all the phenomenal guitarists I have found in the city of Portland, I'd estimate I'm still in the top 100 of the best of the best from here. I watched some of the most prolific guitarists of the city do their magic, and learned many cool tricks from them, to the point that playing with me alone teaches you techniques. I love a good jam, I love to play music with my wife.
She's a bit of a newby, but very good player all ready. I'd been teaching her little tidbits, I'd been playing instruments since I was very little.
Music was an inborn gift to me, and I love sharing it... I miss sharing it.
What I'm looking for, simple. People who'd be cool enough to take us both. She's a great person, very stylish and entertaining, very intelligent,
she's a comedian and writer long before she's a musician, but since she's been married to me, and she grew up on a musical family's influence,
growing up in Mississippi, she grew up with a lot of southern gospel music influences, lots of folk, has a rich and beautiful voice, she rocks though,
first song I heard her introduce me to was a song by Nightwish, the song Nemo, she sang with it, and blew the singer in the cd away, and she had a
big pair of speakers she played that cd on, full volume, her voice alone soared above the volume of this loud stereo. Loud, rich, beautiful. I've always wanted a woman who could sing that way. She was dressed like a rockstar when I met her, so was I, really. We wanted to flash our colors when we met on our first date. It was amazing. We got married, had many social beautiful jams with my friends, and now we're looking for more intensive of a project.
It's really tough to communicate to a world of shallow tourist hobbyist musicians who're only out to play music if it gratifies them alone, not really looking at it from a communal standpoint which is vital if you're to have a good band last. Everyone needs to be patient and cool with each other in order to get the best of every individual musician's ideas out into the recordings and compositions done together.
I despise the pretentiousness I'd seen in the underground scene out here. I think many of the people out here forming bands haven't a clue what it's all about, going about playing shows with less than a basic rudimentary knowledge of the art, has very little appreciation for other styles of music outside their shallow pool of bands they listen to and emulate. I'm really looking deeply for someone or several someones who are understanding I want something sincere, something magical, something somewhat like love. I thought I'd never find the perfect woman for me, but I did. I was for years thinking that Nequaquam Vacuum was the most I could do, the best I could do, I played in rock bands, jazz bands, too bad the best music I did never got recorded, or some idiot who recorded it lost the tape or accidentally erased my music files off their computer, or decided to be a jerk to me and cut communication with me, which as a result cuts me off the best material I have on recordings. People have stolen music from me, so I'm very cautious about it now. I was involved in recording projects with people who ended up having someone else take a picture and put it on their album instead of me, but it was my instrumental talents on the cd... but try to prove that in court when all you could get is a budget lawyer, and you're up against people who're rich who could get the kinda lawyers that'd end up suing me for insulting them with the bother of suing them for the music they stole. I'll end up looking like the badguy and in front of people I could end up being hired by... But you never know who's going to pay you and who's gonna be a shietze brain and rip you off. Yes, I'd been ripped off, been ripped off by close friends, and by different people of all kinds. I'd had my instruments stolen from me, I'd been on tour, I'd had my heart broken, I'd been homeless, I'd been strung out, I'd been rehabilitated, I'd married twice, I have no car, I'm clean as a whistle, don't drink, smoke bud sometimes but I'm not someone who gets laid out all day doing nothing... well my goal is not to be that way anyway, heh heh! I found what would be best for my emotional and mental well being if I don't put myself through stir crazy days when I have the gifts and the talents to do some really great shows. Lazy screwballs do not know what they're missing, if you could pick Ozzy Osbourne up to do a show with you, wouldn't you?
truth is, I have really bad eyesight and my depth perception has made me a danger on the road, it's a handicap I have, so I can't drive.
but just because I can't drive a car doesn't mean I can't play the hell out of anything you hand me.
Music is what I live for, and my wife follows me wherever I go. Maybe having her will keep me unemployed until she's got a parallel with me
on skills, but maybe not. She's able to play, she should do the american idol thing, but she doesn't like preppy twits, so given she'd be surrounded by that crap the rest of her life if she won that contest, or even was on it once, she said hell no. Wouldn't be caught dead doing that, for one, she rocks on karaoke, but wouldn't consider that a way to express her artistic self. She could win. So instead of doing the preppy way of making money, we're doing it the poor rocker's way - rock the f*#k out with the best of the fu%$ing best of the the united states, and get some serious music going on!
We have songs, but don't really have the capability to record them yet, but they're awesome. In the meantime, I have webpages.
If you'd read this all and are intrigued, then feel free to contact us. We'd love to network with people who respond highly to what I had to say.
It's really the best I can say. I don't want lazy people, I don't want arrogant people, I don't want tourists, I want people who are interested in counting me in on a project that will stick to it with us as a major part of the sound, unfortunately we can't really give you an idea of what it's like to play with us yet, but trust me, it's a memorable experience, a beautiful one that is the way it should be. Open, social, friendly, creative, copacetic.
I'm tired of getting phonecalls from idiots, I made that mistake by posting it in mercury enough times to know, that is not good idea to put your number anywhere online.
You want to contact us, contact us through here. I don't want to waste my time looking up everyone's webpages, though the recorded material usually presents the best of other musicians, I don't think I care enough about what I recorded to really show it, because what I'd do with your band has nothing to do with what I did in other bands. I'm what a real musician is made of, someone who virtually has been in all the typical types of bands, aced them, but was kicked out due to the ego of the leader of the bands, who feared me upstaging them or taking over the band because right away with each band, I earned respect with my moves and my ears, which are keen as a cat's ears. Ask me if I need a friggin' electric tuner? professionals don't need that crap, the ears and the skills are all you need. You got the ears, you don't need to rely on tweaky little devices which serve as a crutch to people without the ears to hear out the exact notes, which isn't rocket science.
I don't like drummers who snap their sticks while playing, or think that drum sets sound better out of tune, or for that fact don't even know how to tune drums. I don't like guitarists who can't be flexible with melodic structures. Nothing upsets me more than to hear a musician say "I can't play with that!"
I don't throw out such difficult things that it's impossible to memorize.
But I do play music I'm proud of.
No comments:
Post a Comment